FAMILY AND RELATIVES

Big Liar Teacher

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?” One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.” “You should be ashamed of yourselves (malu dengan dirimu sendiri),” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.” The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

Driver and Officer

A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.
Officer : You were speeding.
Man : No, I wasn’t.
Officer : Yes, you were. I’m giving you a ticket (surat tilang).
Man : But I wasn’t speeding.
Officer : Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man : Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk (tolol)?
Officer : Yes, you would.
Man : What if I just thought that you were?
Officer : I can’t give you a ticket for what you think.
Man : Fine, I think you’re a jerk!

by: Nick Henry, ESL teacher in Korea

Mouse

A : I’m in a big trouble!
B : Why is that?
A : I saw a mouse in my house!
B : Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A : I don’t have one.
B : Well then, buy one.
A : Can’t afford one (tidak punya uang untuk membeli).
B : I can give you mine if you want.
A : That sounds good.
B : All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A : I don’t have any cheese.
B : Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A : I don’t have oil.
B : Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A : I don’t have bread.
B : Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!

by: Genti Biraci